Soul-Mates

For over 35 years, Enid Vien has been a student of Humanity. Her searches have taken her through many philosophical, religious, and metaphysical pathways to the melding of method and magic that so characterizes her work today. She likes to call herself a pragmatic philosopher.

The following chapter from her book, Soul-Mates is © 2001 by Enid Vien. For reprint rights, please contact Enid Vien at www.dynamism.org/tools/dmail.html

Truth - Correct and Incorrect Indications

If we say that the truth is correct and falsehoods are wrong, then you can get some idea of what correct and incorrect indications mean.

A correct indication is a statement said to someone that points out something that is true, and is also within the scope of understanding of the individual to whom it is given.

An incorrect indication occurs when something is said, or implied, to someone that is not true, or is only partially true, or is true sometimes but is stated as though it is always the case. In other words it is a statement or implication inappropriate to the individual who is being given the indication, causing him to defend himself or protest, to feel hurt or misjudged. It is untrue. The most distressing incorrect indication is one that contains a kernel of truth. It is close enough to the truth to throw the recipient into doubt. Even while protesting vociferously, he or she wonders if they were really that bad.

Beings respond well to truth. When you give someone a correct indication, they cheer up. Incorrect indications make them upset, angry, sad or gloomy. A really bad indication pierces the heart and can make the person very apathetic, even suicidal if the person is hypersensitive.

There are many levels of truth. The highest level of the truth is Source. All beings truly have their existence at Source. This is not part of the physical universe. Each being, each of us, is an agent or aspect of the Infinite. The closer the truth that you are indicating comes to this ultimate truth, the better the results you will have. A person is as evil minded, murky and black souled, as he has come to believe in lies. Lies make beings stupid and dense of intellect, they also make beings capable of great destructiveness. Truth enlightens the spirit, raises the capacity for joy and empowers the life source.

There are mechanical level truths. These are involved with facts, events and motions. Such as: I met the train at 6 PM, or: I ran a mile.

Then there are personal truths like: "I felt happy." Never argue with personal truths. "How could you feel happy when your father just died? You are either lying or crazy. You are in denial." The truth was he did feel happy. His father finally had a long-awaited, blessed release from pain. Believing that one knows what someone feels better than the individual who is feeling it does, is a very arrogant pathway to the self-made hell of lies.

"I had the best intentions when I did that."

""So what? The road to hell is paved with them."

This makes mincemeat out of the person's goodwill and tells him his good intentions were worthless because events did not turn out the way he meant them to. It is a wrong indication because it places a false value on results and intentions. Intentions do matter. They are a personal truth to the person who has them; they demonstrate to him his own good nature. The knowledge that one meant well is comforting, even if things turned out badly.

Many incorrect indications occur because of assumptions the being made. For example: "You wouldn't have done it if you really loved me." Or: "You must have felt lust because you were staring at that girl." Or: "You had to know that would hurt my feelings." These are not facts, they are assumptions based on fixed ideas, the person saying them assumes they are true.

Then there are opinions, for example: "I like red dresses." While this is generally true, there may very well be exceptions to this rule. We tend to communicate quite carelessly, using generalities when we do not really mean them. Those who are literal minded may take this more seriously than we intended, turning our remark about loving pork chops into a diet composed exclusively of pork chops.

Then there is the level of truth found at moments of stress. The classic one is probably: "I hate you." This feels true at the moment of rage, so much so that the person will insist it is true, but once the rage is spent, it is rapidly regretted.

Afterwards it is very hard to erase from the memory of the unfortunate recipient, who has just recorded a psychic wound. Even though it is really a lie, it had just enough momentary truth to be dangerous and damaging.

Lies prevent one from seeing the truth. You believe Joe stole the money from the till. Joe did not. No matter what Joe says he cannot prove to you he did not, negatives are extremely hard to prove. Joe is now perceived by you as a dishonest person. A veil of untruth sits between him and you, making all future communication virtually worthless. This is why gossip is so deadly. Mary speculates to Jill that Ann is just after Bill's money. Jill mentions this to Bill's mother who promptly drops large hints to Bill. Bill and Anna have a big fight. Anna has no idea why the fight occurred, but enough wrong indications were made to open an old psychic wound. Once the wound is re-opened it is easy to ear it open again and again. Their relationship deteriorates, and the couple never do so well as they had done previously. Their love has been tainted by a lie. More lies add in to the situation when the old psychic wounds superimpose on current reality.

Beneath every lie is the truth it masks. When enough lies have been added to a situation, it becomes a tangled web of deceptive and false ideas which prevent clear vision or true communications, and destroy the possibility of any resolution of the problems.

Incorrect indications can be given by a person to himself or herself. These are usually based on the fixed ideas the person has, and the assumptions that have been made due to those fixed ideas. The person has, for example, the fixed idea that it is bad to brag about one's accomplishments or talents. When someone is heard bragging they therefore decide he is not a nice person. This person's friends are all carefully chosen introverts who would never dream of bragging. Of course, they don't accomplish much, they are far too shy and far too anxious about how they look to others. The person with this idea cannot achieve the balance of introvert and extrovert that is so necessary if one is to be able to learn and think, and also be able to promote their product or service.

The worst incorrect indication you can possibly give to another is one you then insist is true, completely ignoring the attempts of the other person to get it corrected. The jealous husband accuses his wife of flirting with a friend. It is not true. He insists it is true. He has just:

A. Given her an incorrect indication.
B. Called her a liar.
C. Demonstrated a lack of trust.
D. Treated her as though she is an unethical being.

That is actually four incorrect indications rolled into one. The chances of opening a gateway to an old soul scar are quadrupled. The odds are that this would end up in a major upset and a nasty row, with accusations flying in all directions and old upsets being dragged up and thrown in faces right and left.

False Accusations are a common incorrect indication.

Generalities are a probably the next most frequent. How often have you heard a complaint that starts off with: "You always...." Always and never are a pair of overused and HIGHLY dangerous words. The timelessness in them makes them very likely to be an incorrect indication. Since it is quite to always lose one's keys or whatever the accusation is, the statement is clearly incorrect. It is also a common error to generalize about men and women: "Women are emotional, men are cerebral" was a favorite one in my youth, usually naturally enough, spoken by a male with whom one was already upset. This nasty little statement was made in many forms, but the basic attitude remained constant. "Run away little girl, go and tend to your kitchen." It managed to give me virtually a complex about ever showing how I felt, or expressing my emotional responses, until I realized that was exactly what it was intended to do. It is, of course, sometimes true, but by no means always.

The old rhyme goes:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me."

An incorrect indication! Quite untrue! It is intended to lessen the value of words and render them impotent to cause pain. It is usually said after a spiteful or cutting remark has cut us to the quick, and we are attempting to hide our vulnerability. It is ridiculous, because the pain has already been felt. Words can cut to the heart, they can deliver psychic wounds and can scar the soul. We tend to use them with reckless abandon and appalling imprecision, especially when our emotions are involved.

I was terribly overwhelmed by my stepfather's violent temper as a small child. I could not fight back physically. I certainly learned the value of a dictionary because I studied it in order to develop a different method of violence, one that did not involve being kicked down flights of stairs or beaten bloody. I could insult him four different ways before breakfast, make him look like an ignoramus and turn him into a foolish figure in the eyes of any well educated person, and he would never even suspect I had done it. I also learned I could turn his temper on and off at will, by using words alone. A peculiar pastime for a six year old kid. It made me feel less dis-empowered though. My point here is not to learn how to play tunes on another's emotions by using words cleverly, but to realize that words do have power and to learn to avoid using that power to the detriment of those with whom we wish to have any type of lasting relationship.

I expect that almost every living person has been insulted, called names and severely hurt by words at some point in their lives. It is an oddity that no matter how often one tells oneself the attacker is merely jealous or misinformed, the appellation hurts. No one enjoys being misunderstood or unfairly criticized.

One of the most harmful incorrect indications that can be made is one that labels a being. By stating that he is, for example, a "sinner" or a "brat," one implies that he is not who he really is. The effect of this type of incorrect indication can be quite devastating. The being himself is unrecognized and passed over, his less desirable aspects are strengthened and the truth which he or she is becomes weakened. Even when the being knows intellectually that these labels are not the truth, emotionally they cut to the quick. There is a big difference between analytical analysis and emotion. Words can be believed. If they express an untruth, that untruth can be believed and acted on.

Whispering campaigns, destructive gossip, destruction of reputation, all are accomplished by the use of words. It has long been realized that the users of the pen and the sword both wield powerful weapons. I will leave it up to you to judge which is the more powerful in the final analysis.

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